Cameron Douglas mugshot

Now, there’s dumb and desperate, but this is just sucker stupid. So, say we!

Cameron Douglas, the sometime actor son of Oscar-winning actor Michael Douglas, stepson of Welsh actress Catherine Zeta-Jones, and grandson of legendary Hollywood movie star Kirk Douglas, has been plucked from his mother’s apartment, where he was under house arrest on large scale methamphetamine distribution charges, and now lingers in the Metropolitan Correctional Center in New York City, for violation of his house arrest terms by having his girlfriend, Kelly Sott, also now in custody, smuggle heroin to him.

Although, and predictably, given the velvet glove treatment by the two-tier justice system, whereby celebrities and the wealthy get to live among us while awaiting trial, as we of the lesser privileged class are detained in jail till our court dates, Cameron opted to be clapped in irons instead.

Under court-appointed security at home in his mother’s luxurious apartment, and within earshot of the guards, Cameron called his girlfriend to fetch him an electric toothbrush, despite having had one delivered just days earlier. He emphasized his need for the brush so much it alerted high suspicion. [WOW, we don't say, huh?!]

As if to underscore stupid, Kelly (the girlfriend) showed up on the doorstep a short while later clutching a swag bag for Cameron, which – naturally – the cops confiscated tout de suite. Nestled inside the bag was the toothbrush. Inside the toothbrush’s battery compartment were 19 bags of heroin. [Can't script this crap!]

Kelly, Cameron’s heroine of heroin, denied all knowledge of the illicit contraband; but when police trailed her back to the hotel room she and Cameron shared, they made quite the little drugs bust, finding smack (heroin), ice (crystal meth), and pot (marijuana). A judge ordered she be held without bail, and is currently undergoing medical treatment for heroin withdrawal and hypertension.

Cameron is now a three-striker facing a minimum of 10 years imprisonment, and the possibility of a life sentence if convicted. A date has been set for his hearing – September 10.

Should allow him some pre-time time to ponder the true meaning of ‘spoiled brat gone stupid’, we think!

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