Would you buy a lame apology and a gimp excuse from a fool dressed like the dude on the left? Nor would Digital Cheeseburger! Girl-beater and R&B singer Chris Brown thought we might, though. Following his sit-down on CNN’s “Larry King Live,” in which he was as unconvincing as he was inarticulate – like…well, like…like, wow – he’s now having a stand-up against Oprah Winfrey, who earlier produced a show about domestic violence and dedicated it to “all the Rihannas of the world.”

Brown counter-punched Oprah with:

“I commend Oprah on being like, ‘This is a problem,’ but it was a slap in my face. I did a lot of stuff for her, like going to Africa and performing for her school. She could have been more helpful, like, ‘OK, I’m going to help both of these people out.’ ”

Oprah’s people slammed back with:

“Oprah is very appreciative that Chris Brown performed at her school but she takes domestic abuse very seriously. She hopes he gets the counseling he needs.”

Analysis of the “Oprah vs Chris Brown In Rihanna Smackdown” so far: Brown can kiss any slim comeback chance he might have had, as his dumb words and thoughtless remarks will have endorsements and backers racing to sign deals with Country & Western acts instead. Sage advice always has warned: Be careful who you pick your fights with. Brown has flipped a 180 on that, fo’ sure! Sorry, but we have to ask, “Can’t we all just get along?”

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