Making Sense of Celebrity Judicial Nonsense

Digital Cheeseburger > Junk Brain Food - celebrity / social commentary junk brain food is an entertainment post from: Digital Cheeseburger - Celebrity / Social Opinion

Lindsay Lohan falling and falling

Following a protracted period of playing tug of war with the Californian court system, Judge Martha Revel, in her Beverly Hills courtroom, took just ten minutes to sentence the Hollywood star to 90-days in Paris Hilton‘s old judicial digs of Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynwood, for probation violations.

Most celebrity crimes’ pundits have been lauding this court’s intervention in LiLo’s train ride to wreck over the years. Seeing it as a positive step towards getting Lohan back on a safer, surer track.

Great! Until the Los Angeles Sheriff’s Office gallops in on its donkey to derail the entire process, by announcing that her three-months slammer time of sobriety will be instantly severed to a mere two weeks!

It’s a true tale of celebrity justice Californian-style – the judicial hand eventually snatches away the tug of war rope, only to have the penal hand offer back enough rope to hang the system.

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Digital Cheeseburger > Junk Brain Food - celebrity / social commentary junk brain food is an entertainment post from: Digital Cheeseburger - Celebrity / Social Opinion

HAS JENNIFER ANISTON LOST IN LOVE YET AGAIN?

Well it seems that Hollywood‘s resident train wreck, actress Lindsay Lohan, has discovered the perfect remedy to a lovelorn lesbian relationship since her split with Samantha Ronson – a Scotsman (writing as a Scottish man myself!) namely Gerard Butler, the actor currently embroiled with unlucky-in-love Jennifer Aniston. Do we hear the “Friends” actress scratching out her latest beau’s name from her battle-scarred heart?
LiLo,23, was spotted dancing and smooching with Butler, 39, at the launch of the Sol Kerzner Mazagan Beach Resort in romantic Morocco. She told British tabloid newspaper “The Daily Mirror“:

“He’s hot, he’s mine! I’ve got no ring on my finger so I’m gonna have lots of fun. This is the most romantic place in the world after all.”

Other celebrity guests at the event included Naomi Campbell, Guy Ritchie, Naomi Watts, Simon and Yasmin Le Bon.

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Digital Cheeseburger > Junk Brain Food - celebrity / social commentary junk brain food is an entertainment post from: Digital Cheeseburger - Celebrity / Social Opinion

Troubled actress Lindsay Lohan has been tweeting on her Twitter account like a madwoman over her father’s, Michael Lohan, claims of his daughter brinking death with her drug abuse and his interests in waging a Britney Spears-style conservatorship over her. She slams him, saying:

“My father is a lunatic & doesn’t even deserve such a title since he’s never been around in my life other than when he’d threaten me & my family.”

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Digital Cheeseburger > Junk Brain Food - celebrity / social commentary junk brain food is an entertainment post from: Digital Cheeseburger - Celebrity / Social Opinion

Beverly Hills Superior Court Judge Marsha N. Revel ordered Lindsay Lohan to appear in court this morning to review her progress per terms of her probation for a 2007 DUI, which included involvement in substance-treatment programs and community service. Lohan has failed to meet half of her required substance abuse classes. However, instead of throwing her in jail, the judge gave her another year in which to complete the terms of her probation.

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Digital Cheeseburger > Junk Brain Food - celebrity / social commentary junk brain food is an entertainment post from: Digital Cheeseburger - Celebrity / Social Opinion

Self-proclaimed (in her own press release) as “one of the world’s most famous mothers,” Dina Lohan is calling for the media to leave her precious little train wreck of a daughter, Lindsay Lohan, alone! Oh me, oh my, mothers living vicariously through their offspring’s former success now feel they’ve the right to dictate to the media what to write and talk about.

Okay, Dina, we’ll skip over worldwide condemnation of “brilliant” LiLo‘s fugly Emanuel Ungaro collection … we’ll fast forward when Singapore boos “brilliant” LiLo’s performance at F1 Rocks … we’ll ignore “brilliant” LiLo’s posting online her cell phone number with the “brilliant” ’1234′ password that got hacked … we’ll pass over “brilliant” LiLo’s series of home robberies being investigated by LAPD as possible inside jobs … we’ll disregard complaints from jewelers in London and Beverly Hills concerning ‘lost’ jewelry supplied to “brilliant” LiLo … we’ll turn a blind eye to “brilliant” LiLo’s drug problems….

Watch Dina’s rambling video:

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Digital Cheeseburger > Junk Brain Food - celebrity / social commentary junk brain food is an entertainment post from: Digital Cheeseburger - Celebrity / Social Opinion

Even by her usual standards, this has been a miserable week for actress Lindsay Lohan. First, her new job as creative director for the Emanuel Ungaro fashion house was a major faux pas. Now, Lilo was booed at music-meets-racing event “F1 Rocks” in Singapore.

Watch LiLo prepping for her latest disaster:

And, here’s the jeering on the big night:

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Digital Cheeseburger > Junk Brain Food - celebrity / social commentary junk brain food is an entertainment post from: Digital Cheeseburger - Celebrity / Social Opinion

Hollywood actress and trainwreck of recent times, Lindsay Lohan really blew it as Creative Director of couture king Emanuel Ungaro‘s fashion house during Paris Fashion Week on Sunday. Her collaborator, talented Spanish designer Estrella Archs, in the badly conceived and worse received Spring 2010 collection, must be left wondering if she can ever resurrect her career after the one-month-old appointment of Lohan to a world in which she clearly does not belong.

The new line was greeted with snickering and rolling eyes as LiLo‘s show played out before their disbelieving eyes. The style critics around the world were even less gracious of the movie star’s debut. Especially cutting was the review given by the fashion industry bible, “Women’s Wear Daily,” who sniped:

“As for the clothes, they looked cheesy and dated. Hot pink, orange and flashy, with an overworked heart motif relentless in its execution, the collection displayed none of the promised younger side Lohan was supposed to deliver. Nor in a million years would one guess that the lineup was designed by one young woman and ‘creative directed’ by another. Glitter heart pasties all around, ladies? … Lindsay, it’s time to get serious about reviving the acting career.”

Watch the Spring / Summer 2010 Preview video, at least it seems LiLo was impressed:

And, a couple of her jeer-worthy creations:

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Digital Cheeseburger > Junk Brain Food - celebrity / social commentary junk brain food is an entertainment post from: Digital Cheeseburger - Celebrity / Social Opinion

Media-feeder extraordinaire, actress Lindsay Lohan‘s constant quest for drama and attention might be coming crashing in on her now, as reports surface of the last break-in at her Hollywood Hills home was an inside job, masterminded by herself.

While filming last year’s First Look Studios movie “Labor Pains,” LiLo hung out a lot with the studio’s then-Vice President, Frank Prugo‘s son Nicolas Prugo, who was recently arrested for his part in the burglary, which was captured on house surveillance video. It is rumored that she might be claiming that $2 million in loaned jewels from Beverly Hills jewelers XIV Karats were among the items stolen. If so, then she could be facing some insurance fraud issues atop all the other charges potentially leveled against her, should her connection with Prugo pan out to being one of co-conspirators in burglary. And, there’s still the outstanding matter of the Christian Dior jewels valued at $400,000 that disappeared at a photo shoot with Lindsay in London.